So, April has been a bit frustrating. I came into the month super excited! I just knew this was going to be the month that I FINALLY hit my "onederland" goal that I have (literally) been working towards for years now. I am right past the halfway point of my ultimate weight loss goal (which will ultimately be 120 lbs) and as of now, I have lost 62. More than half way there! All I want is to get to the 190's. It's not too much to ask! I lost 17 lbs in February, the shortest month of the year! I even got a pedicure for the "look I finally did it, here's my feet on a scale that says '199' on it!" picture (no, I'm not kidding).
BUT alas... Here I sit at 203. In the past, if I plateau'd for more than a few weeks, I would just throw in the towel. A BIG part of that problem was that I was thinking of my diet as something that was a punishment, and deprivation that was unfair. I was CLEARLY sacrificing so much by abstaining from junk food and if it wasn't going to make me drop weight, WHAT was the point?
But, here's what I know now:
- I am doing this for me; to be healthier, have a clearer mind, better mental health, less inflammation, less need for medication over the course of time, less discomfort, etc. in addition to losing weight and all of those things are still in the works even when the scale is not moving.
- The scale is not moving, but my body is still changing. Inches speak louder than pounds sometimes, and even though I am not changing my relationship with gravity this month, I am losing inches.
- My body frequently finds a weight it is comfortable at, and hangs out there for a while. I don't know why, but it does! Plateaus are a normal part of the process.
- Giving up will only send me backwards. I am not someone who can maintain weight without trying. As soon as I give up, I will gain weight quickly and I will be right back where I started, feeling SO disappointed in myself and so defeated! NOT. WORTH. IT.
So, I will keep pressing forward. It's not the progress I was hoping for in April, but onederland will come! For now, I am going to stay consistent, keep working and continue watching for the 190's!
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